DEPRESSION

I started writing this about two months ago, but only took it up again recently for reasons I’ll explain further on.

Looking back, I probably had my first bout with depression in my late 20s, but I didn't know what it was. There were probably numerous periods of depression in my life, but I really wasn't aware of it's prevalence until about fifteen years ago. Of course, I did nothing about it. That's one of the insidious effects of depression; it tends to push you away from getting help. I know my physician at the time suspected what was wrong, but I naturally denied it. Men almost always deny there is anything wrong. I was in serious trouble about ten years ago. I wasn't suicidal, but it did occur to me that the world could probably get along without me. By the grace of God, I got out of that bout of depression. I made enough changes in my life to bring myself out. I don't recommend that approach to anyone. If you suffer from depression GET HELP! You don’t have to live that way.

A year ago after eight months of drifting in an out of depression and with the advice of some church members, I told my physician what was going on. He was very understanding and helpful. It took some work to find a medication that worked for me. They all take time and some have unpleasant side effects. One that my insurance company insisted I try produced panic attacks. With persistence, however, things start to work right.

I'm not "cured" in the sense that I am perfectly fine and happy all the time. However, the down times are never as deep or dark or long as they were before I started treatment. It's important to realize you have to take steps in your own life that will help. As I am sinking into one of my downturns (not unusual for me in the late fall) I realize I am not eating properly or exercising or making the effort to be with supportive people. I have to remedy that starting tomorrow morning. Back out for my morning walks. No more overloading on carbohydrates.

I need to work at this because my latest spell of depression leaves me irritable and I say stupid things to people that I regret. There's no reason to do that. I also have the problem that the flat affect of depression leads me to be a poor judge of how I come across to others. I am like a hard-of-hearing person who talks too loud. I push myself to "put on a happy face," but go over the top and seem ridiculous to people. Or I do what I think is humorous, only it turns out to be nasty sarcasm.

Many people are understanding about depression, some are not. There are still people who regard depression as a weakness of character rather than a medical disorder. As I have explained to people time and again, a person with depression cannot simply will themselves out of it. Very mild depressions–the kind that almost everyone experiences at sometime in life–will pass with time. More persistent and deeper clinical depression requires medical attention.

Recently several people have written letters to the editor of our local paper decrying the use of antidepressants in the treatment of depression. I fired off my own letter to the editor when one person decided depression wasn’t really such a serious problem since less than 1% of the population commit suicide. What an idiot! I have received some messages of support as a result of this letter. I have, however, run into people who regard it as strange that I would talk about depression as if it were something shameful. Being depressed isn't a matter of shame any more than having arthritis is a matter of shame.

My letter has provoked one very negative response. I received a email from a woman who rebuked me because I have abandoned my calling as a pastor by turning to Satan himself. According to this ding-dong, any doctor who diagnoses a mental illness is not practicing medicine. This is the attitude that keeps people from getting help. Throughout the Christian era, there have been people who maintained that medical treatments are contrary to God’s will. They opposed vaccinations, anesthesia, and now it seems the treatment of mental illness. What utter nonsense.

For a long time I have advocated a holistic approach to health. We need to have body, mind, and spirit working together in a healthy manner. When something doesn’t work right, we need to fix it. Physicians, counselors, and clergy ought to work together as a team.

Christianity is a religion of hope. The ultimate hope rests in our Lord Jesus Christ who receives us into his heavenly kingdom. I believe that as we live this life en route to our final destination, we should make sure we are physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually fit for the journey. God has gifted us with helpers along the way. Those helpers include our physicians. We are fools not to accept the help they can give.

Don't loose hope.

May the Lord God bless you on your way and greet you on your arrival.

Wayne