GETTING ON AND ON AND ON

I’m back. We’ll I haven’t been gone, just busy with many things. With September the church program gets under full swing and there are all the little details with the new building that’s going up.

I did have the opportunity to hear Dr. David Yeago of LTSS speak a few weeks ago. Among other topics, he talked about virtue which some of my readers might recall is an interest of mine. I won’t try to summarize what he said. Actually I can’t because I am getting a little slower digesting these heady theological matters. I’ve finally crossed that line where all the great theologians are younger than me.

As a matter of fact most people seem to be younger than me. I was ushering at the theater a few weeks ago and one of the youngsters in the orchestra notice my Golden Troupers shirt. I had to explain, “This is for old farts like me who can’t remember lines, so the only acting they let us do is while reading from a script . . . far away from the theater where hopefully no one will associate us with the real actors who perform here. (By the way, some of the actors on stage that night should consider joining us Golden Troupers since they couldn’t remember their lines either and most of them are a LOT younger than me. But as I say, most people are younger than I am.)

Still on the subject of the Troupers, we were rehearsing a skit for this week’s performance. One of the actors is performing the role of the crazy old professor. The director asked him to wear a white wig because he doesn’t look old enough. Wait a, minute, I thought. They never make me wear a wig to look older when I play that part. And I’m younger than everybody else.

Sigh. It’s been like that lately. A few weeks ago I got the senior discount at the pizza parlor without even asking. Then I got the free invitations to a luncheon where they sell you hearing aids.

The final insult came when my sister emailed me to ask about the pictures I had posted online with the ground breaking for the new building. She wrote: “Who was the pastor guy. Why didn't you do it?” I thought she had confused the acolyte with another pastor, and explained who he was. Turns out she didn’t mean the acolyte. She was looking at the picture of me and didn’t recognize me. “I thought it was some other old guy,” she wrote.

No, wait, that wasn’t the final insult. I just opened my mail. I got an invitation from someplace to a free dinner about protecting my estate from losses and probate. I also have another one I am not going to open from the Neptune Society.  It says on the envelope, “Free Pre-Paid Cremation. Details inside.”

I’m not dead yet! I’m feeling much better!!! Except for this tendinitis in my heel. And the arthritis in my knees, hips and shoulders. Now if I could just remember where my glasses are I might be able to find that bottle of Tylenol. Or is they Tidy-Bowl I’m looking for? Or maybe it was my bowling ball. No, I just remembered. I’ve never owned a bowling ball. So maybe that round black thing over there is a cannon ball. Or a black cantaloupe. No, I haven’t bought a cantaloupe since last summer. Of course if that is the cantaloupe I bought last summer, it would be black by now.

Has anyone seen my what-a-ma-call-it? You, know, the thingamajig that you put the whosis into. Oh, forget it. I found the Port left over from Christmas. A little of that and some aged cheddar cheese and   . . .  


May the Lord bless you on your journey and greet you on your arrival.

Wayne






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