I'M BACK

After several years, I finally have time to write a blog again. Why do I have time? Because I’m retired, or at least in the final steps of retiring. May 3 was my last Sunday at Our Saviour Lutheran Church in Ocala. I’m still doing visitations and dealing with emergencies and cleaning out the office and getting things ready for the interim pastor to start, but I have actually had some free time already. 

Why retire now? I’m old enough and I can. I always think of my father who had to retire at 64 for health reasons and then died 3 years later. I’d like to have some time to enjoy myself in retirement. I can tell I’m slowing down. I don’t deal with problems as well as I once did. I don’t have new ideas. The congregation deserves better. I know it was hard for everyone to accept my leaving, but I felt it was necessary.

I also truly long for some time for myself. There are projects I want to work on like transcribing the letters between my mother and father during WWII. I want to do some more investigating of the early history of the Lutheran church in Florida since it centered here in Ocala. And I want time to tend to my own soul.

When I was ordained the pastor of my church Glen Ernst cautioned me not to lose my spirituality. I, of course, said that wasn’t possible. I had ways of taking care of myself. How wrong I was. St. Gregory of Nyssa bemoaned that becoming a bishop put his own soul at risk because he has such responsibilities for other. That is exactly what happens to clergy–at least to me. It slips past you. I have for some years followed the Daily Office and read the rule of St. Benedict every day. I have practiced centering prayer, but it seems to have slipped away from me somehow. Next week I’ll start a program that will refresh my experience of centering prayer as I learn how to teach it to others. 

I have to be intentional about a life of prayer. You’d think for a pastor that would be natural, but it isn’t. The ego takes charge and says, “You have many important things to do. People depend on you. You mustn’t spend time on selfish things.”  The result is that you disconnect from the Holy Spirit. No wonder things don’t work right.

I’ll try again with this blog, although I am having  tremendous difficulty getting into it and writing anything. Technology seems to have run past me, and I can’t catch up. Ah, well. 

May the Lord bless you on your journey and greet you on your arrival.

Wayne