THE FIFTH DAY OF RETIREMENT

Today brings me to the fifth day of retirement. This week wasn’t typical of the weeks to come since I have had lunch with people three times. That won’t be happening regularly. 

One thing everyone who is retired has told me is that you wonder how you ever had time for work before you retired. This has quickly proven to be true. Monday the new management at my apartment complex reached its first day of collecting rent. It was utter chaos. I spent hours trying to find the new online portal. (It seems the name of the complex has changed as well as the management, but nobody told us that.) Then I couldn’t register so I could pay my rent online. Tried at least ten times, but it wouldn’t work. The leasing office finally opened and they told me you have to put a 1 in front of your apartment number to make it work. How was I supposed to know that? Now if I had been working, I wouldn’t have had time to get this sort of thing done so I might have been evicted for non-payment of rent. 

It is strange only having four keys on my key ring. For years I have been dragging around keys for all sorts of places, but no more. I could cut it down to three keys if I removed the one mystery key. I fear, however, that as soon as I discard it, I will encounter the lock that it is designed for. 

It is also strange not going into the office every morning. You’d think that would give me more time, but it so far has given me less time because my old morning routine is disrupted. I don’t have to have things done by a certain time. I suppose I will get a new routine established soon.

I suspect the real issue for me will be Sunday morning worship. I will be in the pews and not up front leading. Actually that may take awhile to sink in since I am scheduled to supply at churches four Sundays out of the next two months. I am aware of the difficulty, however. This past Sunday I was in Orlando and went to a Lutheran church there for worship. Very big, impressive place. They have four services on weekends. The liturgy was traditional, just what I might have seen 30 years ago. The sermon was sound. The problem? It was a festival, The Holy Trinity, but there was no Communion nor did the sermon or hymns fit with the festival. Everything was part of a series that had been running since the beginning of Easter. I missed something important. God doesn’t care if we observe the Holy Trinity on the First Sunday after Pentecost, but I have lived by the liturgical year for a long, long time. At least from Advent through Pentecost it shapes my devotions and to some extent the way I live. I feel the loss when that disappears. 

Most of the Lutheran churches here in Ocala won’t present this sort of problem–now. However, I know all too well how a change in Pastoral leadership can cause radical changes in worship styles. Saw it happen years ago to one church where the pastor effectively drove out all the “traditional Lutherans” in favor of Charismatics. 

At least this past Sunday there was a redeeming grace. At 4 p.m. I attended Evensong at the Cathedral of St Luke with the Orlando Deanery Girl’s Choir and Boychoir participating. A couple of sections of Vivaldi’s “Gloria," Bach’s "Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring,” and a setting of the “Magnificat” by Samuel Webbe (a new piece to me) made it wonderful service. Add to that some incense and singing two Trinity hymns “Holy God we Praise thy Name” and “Round the Lord in Glory Seated,” and I was at peace–except I had missed the Eucharist for the first time in years. 

Listening to the choirs also gave me a pang of regret. I have missed working with a children’s choir for the past 40 years. Singing with the Carol Choir and the Choristers in my youth helped to cement me in the life of the church. After graduating from college I directed a children’s choir for a year and a half. Then the responsibilities I had as a seminary student made me leave that behind. It is a truism that saying “yes” to one thing means saying “no” to something else. There is no way to go back on this. I don’t have the musical skills anymore. I haven’t kept up with the repertoire (although I do know that “Firefly” by Andy Beck is a must). More sadly, children’s choirs at churches are largely a thing of the past. Oh, there are groups that get up and shout songs at congregations, but not children’s choirs that learn hymns, learn anthems, learn how to read music, learn how to use their voices well. That’s gone. The days when a large church would have three or four children’s choirs is past.

Time moves on and sometimes leaves good things behind. It’s not always for the better. It’s like the moving van that somehow leaves a box of old photographs behind. You have memories, but how much better it would be to have the actual photos. I suspect retirement is a time for nostalgia.

The Lord bless you on your journey and greet you on your arrival.

Wayne