The Royal Way?

I just finished the book Lilibet: An Intimate Portrait of Elizabeth IIby Carolly Eirckson. It's one of a couple dozen books on the British royal family in my collection. Personally, I find most of the royal family a pretty distasteful lot. Most of them don't seem to be very pleasant with the exception of the late Queen Mother, and even she could be a tartar when it came to the Duchess of Windsor or Princess Diana. It seems to be a fairly dysfunctional family. The Queen's sister, Princess Margaret, and all of the Queen's children except Prince Edward have been divorced–a good deal higher percentage than normal.

To a degree, I admire the queen, though. She has had an unceasing devotion to duty ever since it was clear that she would be heir to the throne. Something about that whole Windsor clan, however, makes them rather rigid and lacking in sympathy. I don't know if it's the culture of the family or the results of inbreeding. Every ruler since Victoria except George VI has married a cousin of some sort. Even Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer, a commoner, were cousins, both descendants of James I.

So what's the attraction of the royal family for me? Just their way of life. They live in a manner almost unheard of in our own day. Several generations ago people much lower on the social ladder lived lives more like the Windsors. Remember the TV series Upstairs-Downstairs?The four Bellamys (a member of Parliament married to the daughter of nobleman) lived in a house staffed by a butler, two footmen, a lady's maid, a head-house parlor maid, an under-house parlor maid, a chauffeur, a cook, and a kitchen maid. That's better than two servants per person. That much staff wasn't so unusual even in the United States. Emily's Post's 1945 edition of Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage lists seventeen different positions that might be staffed in a large house, and some positions might require several staff persons. I suppose there are still people who live that way, but not many. A family with even one live-in servant is highly unusual, at least in the circles I live in.

Well, even granted that wealthy families once had big staffs, the Queen is the Queen after all, and as head of state it is natural that she requires more than the usual number of people to keep things running. I have to say the most unusual staff members are the Queen's Swan Keeper assisted by the Queen's Swan Uppers whose job it is to go out along the River Thames with representatives of the Worshipful Company of Vintners and the Worshipful Company of Dyers in order to mark the newly hatched cygnets (baby Swans) so they can determine who owns which swans. I don't know why they do that anymore. I have no idea when the last monarch had swan for dinner, but that's the way it's been done for hundreds of years. Some of those swans belong to the Queen and she's darn sure going to keep track of them. She can be rather tight about money.

The story is told that one day a young Price Charles took his dog out for a walk at Windsor Castle, but came back with out the leash–called a lead in merry old England. The Queen promptly sent her son back out to find the lead. "Dog leads cost money," she declared.

I guess the whole life-style of the Royal Family is so exotic that it seems to be a fantasy. Of course, some of the family seem to live in a fantasy. Early in Elizabeth's reign Prince Philip complained that they were having to cut back on expenditures and he might have to give up polo. Poor Prince. Now tonight as I am writing this some incident with Prince Harry is being reported that sounds like he came out of a club drunk and tried to punch out a photographer. Sheesh. I'd say I'm glad the American Revolution replaced the monarch with an elected president except I'm not sure we're all that much better off. I seem to recall our current Chief Executive had been arrested for driving under the influence as a young man. The one nice thing about the Royal Family is that at least their foibles only affect them and not the rest of the world. You don't have to worry about HRM The Queen having a bad day and declaring war on Slabovia or something.

Well, I think I'll fill a Royal Albert china cup with Twining's tea (By appointment to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II Tea and Coffee Merchants R Twining & Co. Ltd.) and call it a day. Some of us have to work tomorrow, and there won't be any Page of the Presence to bring breakfast to our suite. We are not amused.

Follow the true Royal way, and may the Lord God bless you on your way and greet you on your arrival.

Wayne