WEIRD WEEK

I had a guest for a couple of weeks. This was one of the least demanding guests I have ever hosted. Very quiet. In fact, I was hardly aware of sharing a room with her–or maybe it was him. I never knew. My guest was a snake who had moved into my office.

I didn't see Snake's arrival, but one of the church members did. We had the outside door to the building open because people were going in and out working on things. Some one said, "there's a snake behind your door. I just saw it crawl in." I looked behind the door. No snake. I searched in the vestment closet behind the door. No snake. I began to think it was a joke. Then I spotted the snake under the drapes that cover the window and outside door to my office. Simple, I thought. I'll just open the door and let it out. As soon as I started opening the door the snake took off and hid in a closet. Painstakingly, I removed things from the closet until I found the snake in a nearly inaccessible corner. I still wasn't sure what kind of snake it was, so I didn't particularly want to make a grab for it. I set up a barricade so that if the snake came out, it would only have access to the outside door which I left open. I left to get a broom, then proceeded to sweep around the blind corner to move the snake out. Nothing happened. After several more attempts I ventured into the closet. The snake was gone. Had it really left or simply moved to some other location? I assumed the former and returned the office to its usual state of disorder.

I gave no more thought to Snake, until a week later when I saw it dart along the floor and behind a book case. At least this time I got a good enough look at it to identify it as a black racer and not a pigmy rattler or one of the other venomous creatures in this part of the world. Now black snakes are harmless, serving a good purpose in consuming small vermin. I didn't want to harm Snake, but I knew some of the church members of the female persuasion did not share my benign view of slithery reptiles. Probably something to do with Eve's encounter with the serpent in the garden of Eden. So, from time to time I left the outside door to my office open in hopes that Snake would leave. I only did this when I was right in the office able to watch the proceedings because there was always a possibility that some friend of Snake might come in for a visit. Finally, this past Thursday I spotted Snake by the door looking longingly and hungrily outside. Once again I opened the door and this time my guest slithered out. So ended that weird adventure.

That afternoon I decided to head off to the barber since my hair seemed to be getting rather shaggy. As my usual barber began cutting my unruly hair, he remarked, "Didn't I just cut this a few weeks ago? It should have lasted longer than this." That immediately conjured up a new weird experience. You see on the night after Snake came to visit, I had a dream. It was about having a tremendously awful bad-hair day. In the dream my hair had grown about three feet overnight. Not only that, but my hair was black. In real life, before my hair acquired its present distinguished gray, it had been a sort-of blond. Well, in this dream I went around telling people I didn't know what had happened. I had had my hair cut just three weeks ago. I even pulled my flowing locks around front of me and tried to cut off a foot or two. The dream ended as I encountered one of the youngsters from my church who said to me, "You've been weird ever since your hair got like that."

I had great hopes that with the exit of the snake and a haircut the general weirdness in my life had ended. Not so. I opened the mail at church today and discovered that some company had sent me a four-page, full-color brochure with pictures of various tombstones and grave markers they had for sale. Enclosed was a letter encouraging me to contact them if I had need of any memorial markers. Oh my gosh! What do they know that I don't know? Has my doctor contacted them about that leaky mitral valve in my heart? Should I be checking out real-estate at the cemetery? This is just too weird. Now I know how Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole.

Well, I must be on my weird way. May you way be joyful with a minimum of weirdness. And may the Lord God bless you on your way and greet you on your arrival.

Wayne