WHERE'S THE BORDER? (PART 1)

I was listening to an old recording of Groucho Marx's radio quiz show, "You Bet Your Life." The thousand dollar question was, "Which of the 48 states is closest to the North Pole." Note this is before Alaska became a state. My little brain answered "Maine," but something in me said that was wrong. Maine only looks to be the farthest north on some maps because of the type of projection used to make the map. But if it isn't Maine, what state is it? The couple guessed Wisconsin, which I knew was wrong. The correct answer was Minnesota. Now, had I been a Minnesotan and had to draw maps of that state instead of my native Illinois, I would have been familiar with the little projection in the boundary of Minnesota that juts north of the 49th parallel. The area, called the Northwest Angle, includes Lake of the Woods and a small bit of land, Angle Township. There is another bit of land nearby, Elm Point. Both of these pieces of American soil can only be reached by water, or by traveling through Canada. They must have been the origin of that saying, "You can't get there from here."

It seems this irregularity came about because the framers of the treaty of Paris that ended the Revolutionary War didn't have a very good idea what that part of North America was like. They were using the Mitchell map (pictured) which showed the Mississippi River running into Canada, which it doesn't. Since the border between British and American lands was to run from the north edge of Lake of the Woods to the Mississippi, no one could be sure where the boarder was. They later tried to fix it by running the border from Lake of the Woods along the 49th parallel, but nobody had a clear picture of what the land actually looked like there. When a survey team actually got to the site and plotted the border they discovered that some US land was cut off from the rest of the US by the Lake of the Woods. Well, that was just too bad, because it was US territory now, so there.

This wasn't the only case of people drawing boundaries without being sure where they went. Remember all that stuff you learned in school about the Oregon Territory and the slogan, "Fifty-four Forty or fight"? It was about where the boarder between the US and British Columbia should be. Eventually they settled on the 49th parallel (it had worked out in Minnesota after all) with a slight adjustment so that all of Vancouver Island would belong to Britain. Once again nobody knew what was really there until a British survey discovered that a tiny piece of the Tsawwassen Peninsula, Point Roberts, had got assigned to the U.S. instead of Britain. Once again the Americans acquired land that could only be reached by boat or through Canada.

I understand this has worked out all right for many Canadians who have Post Office boxes in Point Roberts so they can have goods sent to them from the U.S. without paying foreign mailing costs. It must really be a pain, though, for the Americans up there. Every time they want to go the county seat for something, they have to go through customs each way. That wasn't so bad years ago, but now you need a passport. I hope U.S. Customs is a lot more understanding than the Transportation Security Agency is. You know them. Those are the folks that take away your shoes and belt and expect you to hobble through a metal detector to make sure you're not carrying nuclear weapons or toothpaste into the airport.

Of course the largest of the enclaves separated from the rest of the United States is the largest state, Alaska. I remember when it became a state, there were grave questions about whether a state that didn't touch the rest of the country could be a legitimate state. Anyway, it became a state and there were 49 stars on the US flag, except in my elementary school classroom. Everybody knew Hawaii would become a state the next year and there would be 50 stars on the flag, so why waste money buying 49 star flags that would be outdated in a year?

William Seward, U.S. Secretary of State under Lincoln and Johnson arranged the purchase of Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million, about 2 cents an acre. People laughed at "Seward's Icebox." After they found gold in Alaska, people stopped laughing. The purchase was a great move. Imagine if Russia still owned Alaska. The old Soviet Union could have put missiles in our back yard instead of in Cuba in the 1960s. Maybe instead of invading Georgia (the country, not the state), they would have invaded Washington (the state, not the city.) Maybe Sarah Pallin would be running for vice-president of Russia. (Do they have vice-presidents in Russia? Must check.)

The worst consequence of Alaska still belonging to Russia is that we would never have had one of my favorite TV shows, "Northern Exposure." It took place in the fictional town of Cicely, Alaska which was really Roslyn, Washington. Talk about border confusion. Of course the show itself was confused because Cicely was supposed to be in the fictional Arrowhead County, but Alaska has boroughs, not counties.

I suppose one should mention Hawaii which is a collection of islands, but still a state in the U.S. I read about some ding-dong claiming Barak Obama wasn't really a U.S. citizen because his father wasn't a citizen or his mother wasn't old enough or some such nonsense. For gosh sakes he was born in Hawaii. Look at a map. That's the United States. It was a state when he was born. If you are born in the U.S. you are a citizen. Besides under the law, anyone born in Hawaii after April 30, 1900 is a U.S. citizen. How come nobody ever asks about John McCain who was born in the Panama Canal Zone which we gave back to Panama? Does that mean he's eligible to run for president of Panama in case this U.S. Presidency thing doesn't work out. Well, that's the sort of stuff that comes up during the silly season of politics.

I'll have more about borders next time. Just remember that borders are only lines that people draw on maps hoping to convince people who live inside the lines that they are supposed to hate people outside the lines. Don't believe them. God doesn't draw lines to separate people. God loves everyone. Remember that little kids draw outside the lines, and they don't hate anyone.

Whatever borders you cross, may the Lord bless you on your journey and greet you on your arrival.

Wayne





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